well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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