Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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