ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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