there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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