he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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