Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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