i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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