I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
