Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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