Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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