chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
