Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
