I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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