Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
