Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
