Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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