he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
