Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
