just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
