I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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