my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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