Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
