I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
