Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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