also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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