plz talk dirty to me
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
