Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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