it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
