My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
