all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
