well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
