I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
