i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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