its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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