it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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