If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize