The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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