remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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