Im at strip club and am horny
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
