Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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