My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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