i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
