I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
