i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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