It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
