I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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