That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
How external is "for external use only"?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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