hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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