its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
