I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
