Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
they're like a gay fantastic four
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize