And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
