i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
