So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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