So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
