a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
