And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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