What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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