matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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